A mild-mannered man was tired of his wife always bossing him around so he went to a psychiatrist. The doctor told him he had to develop self-esteem. The doctor gave him a book on assertiveness training, which he read on the way home.
When he walked through the door and his wife came to greet him, he told her, "From now on I'm the man of this house and my word is law. When I come home from work, I want dinner on the table. I want you to learn to make gourmet meals and incredible desserts. Now go upstairs and lay out some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the boys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?
"The undertaker," she replied.