I'm not always in the mood to have sex. Some days, I can, some days I can't nor do I feel anything at all. Normal?
I was asked to answer this question on ChickRx, a web site for women. My answer follows:
This is a great question. And, yes, you are normal.
i was given a "pearl" (in medicine, this is a short piece of advice or knowledge which gives tremendous benefits) by a patient one day. And if you want to keep your man, then this will go a long way in your relationship.
First, the difference between men and women. Men want to have sex every day, and women frequently don't (most of them). Of course, there are exceptions, and this is a generalization. Robin Williams said it best, "Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place."
Scientific studies of frequency of intercourse in couples consistently show this fact: if men are asked how often they have intercourse, they lie and say less than they actually are. If women are asked, they lie and say they are having sex more frequently than they actually are. Now, these lies might be subconscious, but they are always consistent.
So let's agree there is a difference between men and women when it comes to sex.
Now for the pearl - if a woman does not want to have sex, but a man does, just say, "Honey, I'm not in the mood tonight, and it just is not going to happen for me. But (here comes the clincher) why don't you just go ahead and have sex with me, and I will lie here; just don't expect too much."
That 3 minutes might save your marriage.
Women must have a reason to have sex; men just need a place - Robin Williams