by Charles Bollmann September 15, 2018

In my practice of Gynecology, one of my favorite things came in counseling my patients. I frequently told them about a fond memory from a comedy routine by Jackie Mason, an old comic who was once banned by Ed Sullivan.

During the routine, he suddenly stopped his monologue, started laughing, and said, "I just told myself a joke. It's not only important that you have a good time, but it's important that I have a good time too."

So I frequently spent time with patients, just talking and hearing about their life struggles. And I told them the above story, reminding them that it is important that they have a good time in life. And that I was having a good time just talking with them.

Dealing with women for many years, one thing that stood out was their need to please everyone, and the inability to say no. They were too frequently overwhelmed trying to be a woman, a mother, a lover, a wife, a parent, an employee or boss - you get the idea. Then when their child's teacher asks them to bake cookies for the kids, they say, "OK". And wonder why they are stressed. They set impossible goals.

People often refer to the "Monkey Mind". When the mind latches onto something and won't let go. Or when one flits from one thing to the next, always busy, and bothered. Never satisfied. This describes many women that I mentioned in the above paragraph.
In India, they say the best way to capture a monkey is with a narrow necked bottle. Then they put a ball in the bottle. When the monkey grabs it, it is unable to remove its' hand from the bottle, and thinks it is trapped. If it only would let go of the ball, it would be free.
Our minds are the same; we think we are trapped in something we desire - if we only would let go, we would be free.

If you find you are overwhelmed by life, and not having a good time, it is time to let go, especially of the things that are not important. If you have time to bake cookies for the teacher, then do so. If not, just say no.


When Mahatma Gandhi was asked what his greatest goal was, he replied - DESIRELESSNESS.

Charles Bollmann
Charles Bollmann


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